The Scariest Thing I Have Done In A Long Time

Ugly crying

That is by far the worst picture of me that I have ever posted. It was also the most vulnerable picture I have ever posted. That was from a video I posted on my personal Facebook page the day after Buttons left us. I hate that picture but I am so proud of that moment.

If you are around me long enough I will give you the little tidbit that if you squeeze your butt cheeks you can stop yourself from crying. I practice this a lot with what I do, because people cry around me a lot and I don’t want to cry that often in public. I decided to go live that Saturday to let people know what was going on with me and why I had shut down my business for one and a half days. I never expected to cry this hard on camera. I truly thought I would be able to hold it together. I was so wrong.

There was a moment when I started to really cry that I contemplated shutting the video down, or trying to squeeze my cheeks. Instead, I decided to just be sad for the whole world to see. I was so scared because I try so hard to be kind but strong for those around me. I don’t allow people into my world very often to be sad with me. I will share every joy, embarrassment, silliness, loving moment, or victory with everyone gladly, but to share heartbreak and tears, that is not my lane. I don’t cry that often, and especially with people I don’t know or trust. It was a moment of complete surrender to everyone. I was terrified after I really thought about what I had done.

Within moments I had so many comments rolling in. I had multiple people reaching out in private messages to me. My favorite message came from one of my favorite friends and he simply said, “It was nice being sad with you.” That was when I realized the victory I had just achieved. I for the first time in a very long time let people see my heart. Something I hide from the world because I have always thought that in showing my heart, I would somehow not be able to make someone else feel better or heaven forbid appear shall we say, HUMAN!!!!

I always want people to see me as a strong person they know they can depend on to help them. In that moment I allowed people to help me. I let people see that I truly am a person who loves with everything they have. What I always thought was a weakness actually proved to be one of the strongest moments of my life. I may hate the picture but I love the moment.

The takeaway for me is this, it is perfect to show your feelings and let people know it is okay to be sad and to cry in public, it gives others the opportunity to get the endorphin rush I get when I help others.

To all of you who saw the video and reached out, thank you, in one of my saddest moments you made me feel better. To all of you who have read this blog, thank you. I truly love sharing my thoughts and lessons from my life with everyone. If I have helped you or made you feel better leave me a comment below. If there is something I can add to my prayer list comment below or send me a message.

Love from my heart to yours,


“God Is Great, Most People Are Good, and Kiss Those Furbabies ❤️”

%d bloggers like this:
search previous next tag category expand menu location phone mail time cart zoom edit close